What being an ally means to me...

This ideology that white-cis-het-masculine-men are the top of the social food chain has been around and upheld for centuries. There have literally been wars to uphold this ideal. This is the very idea that this country is built on and has landed us where we are today, a country of hate and bigotry.

America today is full of rallies with hate speech, neo-nazis, and white nationalism. In the current political climate, these events have been on the rise. With these occurrences on the rise, efforts to combat that hate are also ascending. Calling politicians, social media activism, and counter-protests/marches are just some ways many stand up for their own lives and the lives of others. Allies are needed now, maybe more than ever, but being an ally and calling yourself an ally are two completely different things. Here are some of the ways I make myself a better ally.

1. Only the oppressor can end the oppression.

Understanding that oppression is due to the fact that oppressors keep these systems in place by either actively participating in injustice or being silent when they see injustice. Effectively creating change in identity communities that you, yourself, belong to is a great way to show allyship. But being silent because those problems don't necessarily affect you, and saying you support others in their efforts is bull shit. Your silence only shows complacency to the oppression.

2. Your safety argument is irrelevant...

Your privilege does not allow you to see that these people whose lives are being protested against are not safe and have not been safe for a long time. Why should we place our safety over those, who for so long have been seen as disposable? Choosing not to participate in counter-protests because you're inconvenienced by them or feel unsafe is ridiculous. People are literally in danger everyday simply for just existing. Your safety means nothing if others are not also a priority.

What is allyship if it ends at a certain point? Allyship is not something trendy that can be casually thrown around or something you can claim whenever you want (though many do), it is serious. People's lives are threatened and being present for a community is vital. Ask yourself, what are you doing for that community? Are you positively contributing? Are you raising their voices or silencing them?

That brings me to my next point...

3. Actively LISTEN

For the love of all things good, LISTEN TO THE PEOPLE YOU INTEND TO SUPPORT. You might think you're helping while in reality you may just be hurting the situation. Ask people how you can best support them, and then, when they answer truly listen to what they are saying. People literally are telling you how you can help, they are telling you what they feel, what their experiences are. They are the expert in their own lives, DO NOT try to improve on their answer, they know what they are talking about. 

...and finally...

4. Do not be an ally for a cause you truly don't care about

This is not some trend for you to experiment with, these are people's lives. Do not erase the hard work that has taken generations, centuries, to achieve because you are trying to further your own personal agenda. Not everyone is an activist and that's okay, but do not try to find places for yourself in every movement just to do it and say that you care. One, that's just morally wrong, but also you're doing more harm than good in the long run. Don't force passion out of yourself. It leaves you burnt out and others hurt.

I guess what I am trying to say, know what comes along with the term "ally" before you start claiming it for yourself.

My Experience in Israel: Further dedicating my life to activism

During the winter break of 2016, I spent ten days in Israel. Fortunate enough to be chosen to go on this Israel Uncovered trip with the David Project, I am forever grateful for the experiences and perspective I gained while there.

When I came back home many people asked me about the trip and what I did while I was there. I told them stuff on a basic level, not knowing how to explain anything more because I didn't know how to put my feelings into words. My heart felt so many feelings I had never felt before, so many emotions more powerful than I had ever felt. The connection with others both on the trip and Israelis and Palestinians was something beyond words. It felt like home, with a family, even though we had all just met.

The places where I felt calm and comforted but also the places that made me question my privileges and other experiences that I have been so lucky to have had that others haven't. Playgrounds with bomb shelters, churches built around many different beliefs and religions, youth villages, towns often hit by handmade rockets, a wall separating parts of the country, things I have not experienced but saw first hand and heard the stories of those that live there.

Bomb shelters in a children's park in Sderot.

Bomb shelter outside a building in Sderot.

Gaza Overlook

Graffiti on wall separating Palestine and Israel

But in a place of conflict there was also so much calmness and beauty.

Tel-Aviv

Outside the Old City in Jeruslaem

Scarves and purses being sold by a shop in the Christian Quarter, Old City

Bell tower pf the Church of the Nativity, Bethlehem, Palestine

Courtyard in the Church of the Nativity

Bethlehem, Palestine

The City of David

Kotel, Western Wall, Old City Jerusalem

Mount of Beatitudes

Beatitude Monastery on the Mount

. 

A group spoke called Roots during one of our sessions. They spoke how they are working together as Palestinians and Israelis to move away from all the hatred, and helping people to understand, trust and empathize for one another. This was the most impactful part of the trip for me in my ideas of social justice work and issues. You aren't always going to understand someone else's story, but it's important to start by listening

This trip allowed me to see more than one side of a story. It allowed me to question things I thought I knew about; politics, religious beliefs, and myself as a person. It made me want to dedicate more of my time to things I am passionate about, fight more for what I believe in and things that are my personal truth. It also wanted me advocate for both Palestine and Israel, and learn more about the conflict and climate there now. I grew to know that there is more than two sides to every story, and each side is just as valuable as the others. People are complex, that makes each conflict complex and not limited to only two sides, however you may look at it. 

This trip gave me a new outlook on life and myself. It gave me new friends and a new family. Most importantly it gave me a new passion for dedication and service. I am forever grateful for this opportunity.

Friends of Roots: http://friendsofroots.net/index.html

The David Project: http://www.davidproject.org/

What I've Learned in College

The other night I was thinking back to all the things I have been told for the past 21 years. As a woman in this society, I have been told a lot.

"Don't walk alone at night."

"Walk in groups, use the buddy system."

"Stay with people you trust."

"Don't look down when you walk."

"Don't wear revealing clothing."

"Don't speak up, don't be controversial. It's easier that way."

But the other night I had other thoughts in response to those thoughts.

Even if I do walk with a a group of people it doesn't matter. Just this past month a friend of mine was walking home with five other women and they were involved in a mugging.

Even if I do stay with people I trust, I still can't be sure that something won't happen to me. Most sexual assaults happen between the survivor and someone they know and trusted.

Even if I was to wear a turtleneck sweater and the baggiest sweatpants I own, my chances of being sexually assaulted do not go down.

Even if I am silent, the pain of the dehumanizing remarks, comments, and actions people make about others does not go away and does not make it any easier.

It doesn't make every catcall any easier.

It doesn't make every unheard opinion or answer any easier.

It doesn't make the pay gap any easier.

It doesn't make the fact that I and my friends have a 1 in 4 chance of being sexually assaulted while in school any easier.

It doesn't make the fact that I don't have control over my own body any easier.

It doesn't make any unwanted or not needed advice any easier.

It doesn't make the expected reciprocation of nice actions any easier.

It doesn't make sexist comments from professors any easier to hear.

It doesn't make racial or homophobic slurs any easier to hear.

My silence does not make my oppression any easier. My silence does not make me being born a liability to my existence any easier. My silence only allows that oppression to live on and be ignored by others, both the oppressed and the oppressors. My silence does not educate those on how the oppression affects me and so many others. My silence only perpetuates a culture where the oppression I face daily is accepted and ignored. My silence lets the oppression of those who don't have the privilege to speak up go accepted and ignored.

Speak up and speak out on things you believe strongly in.